Think Queerly

Gay Men, Resilience, and Our Chosen Family – LOP050

Episode Summary

It was 1999 and I had recently moved to Toronto. The day after I broke up with my boyfriend, my former ex from Ottawa moved in with us. This would have made the perfect backstory for a gay version of 80s sitcom, “Three’s Company”. Only this time, two exes become friends after not speaking to each other for over a year. Within 24 hours they both suffer a break-up with their current partners, and wind up temporarily living together the day after. Can you imagine the drama?

Episode Notes

It’s Story Time…

It was 1999, Toronto, and the day after I broke up with my boyfriend, my former ex from Ottawa moved in with us. This would have made the perfect backstory for a gay version of “Three’s Company”. Only this time, two exes become friends after not speaking to each other for over a year. Within 24 hours they both suffer a break-up with their current partners, and wind up temporarily living together the day after. Can you imagine the drama?

So get comfy, pour yourself a cocktail, and listen to my humours yarn of a tale of two exes…

There is something to be said for the resilience of gay men, our gay male spirit, and how we will go out of our way to support each other in times of greatest need.

I'm not suggesting this is always perfect, but there is a bond with our chosen family – that many LGBTQ people choose to support and foster – that is often much stronger than one’s biological family.

The reason is simple. Many gay people have experienced rejection and shame for simply being who they are. They may have lost family, friends, a place to live, or their jobs.

In times like this, and what may seem like unforgiving despair, the only people who understand you – the best people you can turn to and lean on for support – are your gay brethren; your gay family.

When we do this as gay people, we set an example for others – for the status quo – that you can survive and thrive outside of traditional limits, norms, and restrictions. That you can live authentically and create your own family.

As I say at the end of my new book, “7 Beneath-the-Skin Thoughts For Gay Men to Love Their Body.”

Create your own ideals to live out the best of who you are.